Both the lens of bipolar and The Oral Personality are lending themselves towards limits. Letting go of the SuperMe idea of having a successful side hustle. Perhaps seasonally between work and other obligations. But what I need to remember is other people aren’t going to get it. That my wife does is a treasure more than the finest gold, especially as a man.

But if I know I have this tendency…where does it stop? Where to put the ambition and goalsetting when I’m feeling energized, and how to keep from overshooting what I can accomplish since the distinct tendency in my life has been for a full crash. That’s what I seek to explore here today.

• illusion leads to an active phase, and the inevitable disillusionment leads to collapse and depression
• Characteristic Illusion: “If I give up my independence, I’ll survive and be loved.”
• Lowen: body work alone, or psychological work alone, or even perhaps both done in parallel, could not really unseat the limiting effects of character. Rather overall global character attitudes had to be confronted. 

My work in the past has helped me feel a greater sense of well-being but has either enhanced an ‘up’ phase or helped cope with a ‘down’ phase. Spirituality and the overall view helps level out the cycle as much as possible and manage expectations and thus, suffering.

Some initial conclusions

• I am right to consistently think of my limitations and let an evolving backlog of projects form.
• The next level on top of this is to realize that even this backlog will sometimes freeze and not much at all will tend to get done. Accepting this will be key.
• Coaching and community involvement will be cyclical. Keeping them to a quarter’s leadership commitment, with one year the longest conceivable commitment as of now seems like the way to go. Avoiding doing any coaching programs during winter or busy times is good.
• Just focus on career for now – I had 9 good months in 2019 that were primed to begin the coaching process. The next one of those I get I want to build on that and then ride the cycles. As for career, the CMA will be a grind but I need to do all I can to bolster certs and keep a day job. The stability of a salary helps a ton through the ups and downs.
• People are able to have children with the needy personality, bipolar, whatever, but the needy times are going to be a grind and even less is going to get done. I will inevitably impact my child, but this can be done much more graciously the more grace I can learn in those situations where I can’t seem to figure it out and accept setbacks and times where the long-term type stuff just isn’t getting done. And here’s hoping that staying engaged and more actively managing my energy can lead to a flowering in my late 30s where for the most part I keep chipping away at things if slowly when down and take advantage of surge periods to make big improvements and moves – self-awareness of the cycle to level it out. Can’t get too excited because it’s hard to be completely self-aware of the cycle but helpful.